Still Sunday 28th April 2013

I want to hurt myself again.... but all I can think about is him.... What he would think, how he would react... I can't do anything right! Not even make him his dinner because i failed to defrost the meat. fucking sick of it. what should I bother anymore? It's not like anyone cares how I feel... -.-

Sunday 28th April 2013

It's been a while since I last posted here... I've rarely had a downer like this in fact I don't think I have since I moved in with my Master. I don't know why I feel this way, or what caused it I just don't feel to good in my head. My sleep patterns suck lately too, to the point where I've had to start taking sleeping pills.

The sleeping pills work... but they seem to be giving me strange dreams, not always bad, but mostly. I feel that Master and I have been falling out a lot lately... and maybe it is my fault, who knows? it normally is that's all I'm saying. I hope that things start to sort themselves soon, I already feel like Sir is going to send me back up north. I hope not... It's a nightmare up there, I'd rather fall out with Sir every few days than go back there for extended time...

On the plus side though, Sir and I have been together for 8 months and 1 day today :) Not easy, but good relationships normally aren't! The creases are slowly being ironed out, but we have a lifetime for that I hope? I'm completely in love with him... I hope he knows this? I try my best and still I don't feel like I'm doing enough for him... He says I am.... I hope I am?

Anyway I will close this off because I need to take a bath and relax, try and make my mood better for when he comes home, I miss him when he's gone, and don't want him to see me this way again...

Thursday 15th November 2012

So yesterday after I blogged I all of a sudden hit an all time low for some reason. Possibly aunt flo decided to come back with a vengeance AFTER I went through enough pain and discomfort having the implant put in my damn arm hoping it would halt the thing... but never mind. 

I spent the day rearranging the lounge because we FINALLY got our sofa and what not... took me hours.. I even put effort in arranging Sir and my DVD's and CD's in roughly alphabetical order.... and baked!!!!!!!! But enough of that lmao.

I thought I upset Sir, but I didn't thank fuck for that!.... I just felt a tad insecure for some reason, but I have a feeling I Won't be feeling that way for a LONG time now... I know I'm loved and cared for...

Today was a lot better I spent the whole day relaxed slept in stupidly... which I was kind of like... WTF!?!?!?!? Did my day to day shit that Sir required me to do then that was it.

Sir came home we spent a relaxed evening and HE cooked for us! Feels strange having someone else cook for me a couple times a week.. but I appreciate it I hope he knows?...


Running off now Blogger!  
G'Night! xxx 

Back to business as of tomorrow

So, finally I moved...we moved. and finally the internet is restored so we can get back to business and I can start to blog here and there and he can blog back on his blogger too. FINALLY!!!! 
I am so much happier now though i haven't felt more happy in my entire life! I will start blogging as of normal from tomorrow but I bet there won't be much badness, in fact I bet there won't be anything to say!

G'Night for now Blogger xxx

Friday 26th October 2012

Today I went to pick up my stuff from the dick heads place.... -happy dance- However... when i got there some random scruffy looking trampy female came out as i pulled up outside. She said in the most rude voice 'oh YOU must be the Ex'............................... I almost flew at her, for one SHE was not supposed to be there and two.... WHAT THE FUCK HAS IT GOT TO DO WITH YOU!?!?!?!!!!!! in the words of Lee Evan...'FUUUCCKKK OOFFFFF!!!!'

Anyway back to the situation in progress... i started at 10:30am finished by 12 noon.... HOW perfect is that?! \o/

BRING ONNNNN MONDAY!!!!!!!!!

G'Night Blogger!!!!!!  xxx

Thursday 25th October 2012

I flipped at my sister again. not proud nor am i sorry. shes a cunt... i disowned her now though, wrote her a note telling her i want nothing more to do with her. I can't handle her and neither can anyone else... So good rid dens to bad muck. 
I feel suicidal and all sorts but i need to not hurt myself again...ever. I'm not that girl anymore I'm going to be better than that. my new life starts on Monday and i CAN NOT wait!!!
I have a headache so I'm not going to type much.


G'night Blogger xxx

Wednesday 24th October 2012

Today has been kinda on and off, but who cares? BECAUSE I GET TO MOVE IN WITH SIR ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! -does happy finger dance-

okay that is all..... hehehe


G'night Blogger! xxx